Some things are not a 

big deal

i guess

like tennis balls…

chew toys…

me and you…

i guess

i wonder…

if you had been born

would we have played 

in green fields 

until 

we both came home 

smelling so much 

like earthy things 

your mother would have made 

us both

take baths?

Were 

you

afraid 

before 

IT 

happened?

like

 i 

am afraid…?

i wish you were here…

and would tell me everything is

going to be OK

is it going to be ok?

i wish…

i wish

we could have gone on 

other walks

instead of this one

but i want you to know… 

before they put me 

to sleep…

when 

i

close

my eyes 

i will dream

of you… 

and will look for you

in heaven’s wide open spaces..

i will be the one 

with a red tennis ball 

so when 

we finally meet

like we should have met

can we please oh please 

finally play

like we should have played?

if only…

if only…

… well you know…

i wish you… 

i wish I 

would have…

mattered