is this what PTSD does?

i suppose there
was no good time for you to 

pull your stunt…but somehow it would

have made more sense if 

you had pulled it in Fall … so when i left your 

apartment … crumpled 

leaves could accompany every betrayed breath I took … as i

stumbled out the door and away 

from the guy i thought was 

my best friend…
the guy who closed the door on our friendship when he grabbed me…when he groped me… and 

wouldn’t let me leave his 


sometimes i still

 miss you because 

my heart remembers the 

guy who was so

often there for me…who texted me

about burned toast and

fixed my car.. who in once upon a

times was…

the most sensitive guy i’d

ever known … the 

one guy who

respected me…………….?


times i spin 

like winter leaves as 

i free fall away from


do i convince myself our 

friendship was nothing …nothing more 

to you …nothing more to you than 

a groping

weed … for you to

pull out so you could


confusion in


you were my best friend


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