is this what PTSD does?

i suppose there

was no good time for you to

pull your stunt…but somehow it would

have made more sense if

you had pulled it in Fall … so when i left your

apartment … crumpled

leaves could accompany every betrayed breath I took … as i

stumbled out the door and away

from the guy i thought was

my best friend…

the guy who closed the door on our friendship when he grabbed me…when he groped me… and

wouldn’t let me leave his


sometimes i still

miss you because

my heart remembers the

guy who was so

often there for me…who texted me

about burned toast and

fixed my car.. who in once upon a

times was…

the most sensitive guy i’d

ever known … the

one guy who

respected me…………….?


times i spin

like winter leaves as

i free fall away from


do i convince myself our

friendship was nothing …nothing more

to you …nothing more to you than

a groping

weed … for you to

pull out so you could


confusion in



you were my best friend

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